She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
