found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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