Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
