no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
