i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
