You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize