I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
