Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
