I'm really into asian looking animals
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
