are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
