Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
