it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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