i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She's the barista slut.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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