i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
