In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
