Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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