Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
