dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
