It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
home. puking in laundry basket.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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