New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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