she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
