This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
