i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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