There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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