I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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