We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
