Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
