Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
