talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
