Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
