I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
