Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
