You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
