he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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