i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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