I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
