Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
