Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
that is very illegal...i love you.
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