just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize