my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
