just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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