Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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