walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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