just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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