I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My liver just had a heart attack.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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