So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
