I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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