I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
