The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
