My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
