Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
