I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
