Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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