community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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