mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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