thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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