I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize