Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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