I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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